Life, Love and Happiness

I've been thinking a lot these days about life, love and happiness. So I thought I'd touch on each of them briefly.

Life.

Well life is good these days. But I've learned that it always has been, even in the darkest of times. I've come to realize that even when I felt lost and alone, I never really was. My family was always there to support me. They didn't wait around for me to ask them for help, they just did it quietly and let me learn my way.

And that seems to be the best way. My mistakes are what help lead me in the right direction. It sometimes takes me awhile to see clearly, but I always do. And they let me. For that I am grateful.

Love.

Love is something I think I was searching too hard for. And it scared the hell out of me. My heart has always known where it belonged, it was the rest of me that lost sight of it. Even as I pushed him away I knew it wasn't right for me. And yet I listened to everything but my heart.

Infatuation and lust disguise themselves as love at times and I let myself believe in them when in reality the one who truly loved me was the one who continued to do so even though it broke his heart.

I've found my way back to him, though in reality I never really left, just took a little detour. My heart always remained with him.

Happiness.

Happiness had always escaped me, or so I thought. Looking back I now see that I was happier than I thought. Perhaps that was the problem. Thinking.

I refused to let myself be truly happy because I was scared of losing it. When in fact, it was I who was making myself so miserable. I stood in my own way, but not anymore. From the moment he kissed me, I found the strength to just be myself, for better or worse.

I've found happiness in his embrace but I've also learned that I have to be happy with myself to truly be happy with him. I love who I am. I love who I am with him. But most importantly I still love who I am when he's not around.

That is true happiness.

Love and kisses

Sunshine.