A heart broken

Betrayal.

Heartbroken.

How could he keep this from me? It's as if I've never really known him. To keep this from me is the ultimate betrayal.

And yet, my heart feels nothing. Empty. Numb. His turning another? More than I can bare. He knew, he felt how desperately I wanted him to be the one. He pushed me away with words that now mean nothing. Words of protection, and how I was too young. Lies. All of them lies.

And now? Now I have to see his creation every night. Have to deal with their relationship. Fight my attraction to him. And learn to trust Dusk again. When all I really wish is to go to ground until I feel better. Hide.

Hide from myself more than anyone. I know that I shouldn't feel this hurt. I know his reasons but my heart still aches knowing that no matter how it happened, he still turned another.

Where do we go from here? Can this be fixed? We've survived worse. And yet.......

I can't even think past now. I am so overwhelmed by it all. And then to feel his creation's emotions. To know the pain he's felt. To have felt the anguish in which he rose. A story that must come out. A story that I need to hear.

For now, I simply must find a way to stay above ground and focus on trying to keep this family together. ALL of this family. Because no matter what, Killian is now family.

I think I'll find my way to his arms, and for just tonight, not think about the consequences of it all.