As It Should Be....

The night started out as any other, except we were on the island and just playing around. I love those moments with Dusk. The moments he's free and enjoys himself. That's the vampire I've loved forever.

We swam and walked the moonlit beach as we did so long ago. I could feel the stress of the wedding plans slipping away as he held me. His laughter filled my soul with peace, as it always does. It was when we were laying on the beach that the idea hit me. We should just run off and get married.

I brought it up, thinking he'd never go for it. I mean I'd been engrossed in wedding details since the moment he asked. But when he looked up at me and asked if it would make it all easier on me, I knew he wanted it as much as I did. So when he agreed I quickly took advantage of it before he changed his mind.

Before we knew it we were in Vegas and thinking we should take the night to make sure it was what we wanted to do. That was until he saw how sad I was. It was then that he showed me once more just how much he loves me.

The ceremony was short, sweet and to the point. With a Bubba look alike officiating no less. Chase, GissyBeth and Jai all found this hilarious. To be honest I thought it was a riot myself. But it was perfect for us.

He doesn't always come across as playful, but the moments alone that he shows that side of himself to me are special. Every time I feel as if I'm seeing straight into his soul. Draven is the sweetest, most caring soul I've ever known. He has never changed.

When he laughs, I find joy in life. When he smiles, I find happiness. When he holds me, I find peace. He is my best friend, my lover and now my husband. He has always been my forever.

Our forever is now. Every second of every night is a new beginning in our undeaths. It's been a long, strange journey to get here. A journey that no matter how far it took us apart always brought us back together. No matter what happens from this point on, we are one. As we have always been, as we always shall be. Our souls are joined by love. A love so deep that it has spanned countless lifetimes and countless endings.

Here we stand, Draven and Sun, as one. As it should be.

Sunshine.

Draven's

Oh. My. Godric. I am getting married.

So the night started out with Dusk showing up in town to defend me once again and I asked him to stay the night. Thankfully he agreed. We spent the night in bed, talking, laughing, doing naughty things (that was my favorite part) and just enjoying being together while we could.

As the night wore on, I began to dread him leaving. My heart was breaking all over again. I knew I couldn't bare to see him leave. So I clung to him and just tried to focus on enjoying him while he was here.

I felt the sadness creeping in as it got later and later. And before I knew what was happening he was on bended knee holding out the most beautiful ring I've ever seen and asking me to marry him.

I immediately said Yes. There was never any doubt. Looking at him there I just knew. I knew that this was right. That no matter how much I try to say I need time alone, I can't ever be happy without him.

Draven is my life. My entire world. He's the reason I smile every night. He's the reason I get out of bed. He's my joy, my happiness, the greatest love of my existence.

And now, he's my fiancee. He's the vampire I wish to spend eternity with. I am truly blessed that he loves me. And completely in love with him.

I am, as always, Draven's.

Sunshine

Finding my way

I've picked myself up off that floor. The first battle has been won. I am standing. I am strong. I can and will survive this.

Watching him walk out of that door was the hardest thing I've ever done. Everything in me wanted to run after him, beg him to not go. Yet I stood still, knowing that this is what is best for us both.

If I had stayed, I would have ended up hurting him worse. I need to spread my wings and fly. I need to find my moment in the spotlight. Alone.

I've relied on Draven for far too long. I've let him carry me and protect me. Because I love him and needed it at the time. Now, well now I need to know I am still that girl that survived all those years and found her way to her true being.

I am vampire now. My outer strength now matches my inner strength. I have always been a fighter. I have always found my way. I will do so again.

I need to allow myself to feel the pain, to cry, to hurt. Because I am hurting. But sometimes you have to hurt yourself to find what it is that will make you feel whole again.

I've never questioned his love for me or mine for him. This is not about our love. This is about finding Sun again. This is about letting someone go so I can find my way back to the vampire he deserves.

Going through the motions of undeath was smothering me. It just got too hard to get out of bed every night. He was the only reason I continued to do so. I need to find the reasons outside of him. I need to know there is more to my undeath than just being bonded.

So I set out on a path that is completely unknown to me. A path that will hopefully lead me to happiness. A path that just may lead me to myself.

Without knowing who I am or what I want I can never be who he loves. He sees something in me that I've never seen. He sees greatness and this is my way of proving to myself that he's right.

So welcome to my discovery. Perhaps we'll all learn a little about what Sunshine is truly made of. And if you happen to see him, tell him I'm fighting for both of us. If you happen to see me in tears, let them fall, but remind me that tears only last mere seconds in eternity. It is the laughter and the smiles that shall remain for a lifetime. Then help me find them.

Sunshine.

Broken by choice

How do you just let forever walk away? How do you get over a love that deep? How do you pick up the pieces of a heart so broken it's irrepairable?

Do you just one day wake up and not miss him anymore? Or do you spend forever regretting your mistake?

Even a shattered heart still feels love. Even a shattered soul still longs for him.

Empty arms, empty life, empty death.

Hollow.

Broken.

Lost.

Empty.

Alone.

My choice.

My stupidity. What happens when you wake up and realize that what's been missing is him? Do you spend forever trying to forget how much it hurts to not have him?

Does it get easier? Do you ever get up off the floor? Do you ever find the strength to get through the night?

When you walk away from love, do you close your heart off? Or is it better to feel the pain?

A pain so deep it nearly kills you. A pain so sharp it brings you to your knees.

Finding the strength to stand again will be the hardest battle I've ever faced. If I can make it through tonight, then I'll have just a tiny bit more strength to face tomorrow.

Determination is one thing I have in spades. I've never given up. I simply need to remember who I am. It is then that I find my path. I will be ok. I simply have no choice.

I can't let him down.

Sunshine.

Siena, Italy

While Rome was beautiful, I was quite anxious to get to Siena and show Dusk my very favorite place on Earth. I wanted him to see where I spent my childhood and just how beautiful Siena is.

We arrived at Villa luce de sole late and spent the day in bed. Which, quite frankly is one of the best places I love to spend time with him. Once the sun set, we headed out to the Duomo of Siena. My grandmother used to take us there every summer when I was a little girl. I've always loved being in that old cathedral. So much history and so much art. We wandered around hand in hand, just admiring the beauty of it.

I still can't believe in all these centuries he's never been there. I guess he never had the time. But it was really nice to show it to him for the first time. I think he enjoyed it.

After we left the Duomo we headed home where I'd planned a nice romantic evening. Candlelight and rose petals on the bed. Lingerie and the blood of, well me. It was the best damn night.

We spent the next few days just hanging out and relaxing. I love just being with him. Nothing planned, nothing to rush out and do. Just being us, everyday undeath. I know, who would've thought it? Sunshine just enjoying the everyday routine. But with Dusk, even the routine is exciting.

Maybe I'm just crazy.

Things took a strange turn last night when Natasha showed up unexpectedly. I was down by the lake and she caught me unaware. Next thing I know I'm in the lake and she's cutting me. We fought for quiet a while and she got the best of me. That bitch is strong. I ended up with broken ribs, a cut on my arm, face and leg. I managed to get away by cutting her with a piece of broken glass.

Luckily I had the strength to telepath Dusk and he came and found me. He of course gave me his blood to help heal and made the arrangements to head to Transylvania, which is where we are now.

He seems to think that we can end it all here. That we'll fight them and everything will be ok. But to be honest I'm worried.

For now, I just have to trust that Dusk can take care of this.

Sunshine

Rome

What can I say about Rome, except it was beautiful and romantic. Even though I'd been there as a child it was a whole new city seeing it through Dusk's eyes.

The night started with me shopping. Big surprise there, right? Far too many shoes and clothes were purchased, including one very stunning dress that we aren't discussing.

After that I met him at the Coliseum and he told me about the history of it. How they used to fight great beasts and how the crowds loved the bloodshed. I can't help but think he was there at some point and enjoyed himself quite a lot.

Somehow I convinced him to go with me to the Trevi fountain, where I tricked him into giving me three coins to toss in. Legend has it that if you throw three coins into the fountain you will ensure a marriage or a divorce. As I am not married currently, I was aiming for that marriage one. Because it is so much fun to watch him sweat so to speak. ;)

Then the freak pushed me in. I mean into the damn water. Overcome with laughter I reached up and yanked his fine ass in with me. We spent several seconds kissing in the water before he helped me up at which point we kissed more. The tourists seemed to think we'd lost our minds. Little did they know that Dusk and I were just being us.

It wasn't long before the kisses turned passionate. That tends to happen with us. A lot. I just can't keep my hands off the vampire. He can turn me on with just a smile. And I am so not complaining. Before I knew it he was whispering in my ear that it was time to head back to the hotel or else we'd be giving a free show. Not that I would've cared while it was happening, but the idea of others watching MY Dusk, well that isn't a good thing.

I don't even remember how we got back to that hotel. I do, however remember that elevator ride. And no I'm not telling you details. Once inside our room, things heated up quickly, as they tend to do with us. He never fails to make me feel beautiful and desired.

Several hours later, we both needed bloods and to rest. We spent the day sleeping in each other's arms. As it should be. In his arms is where I find peace. In his arms is where I am truly me. In his arms is where I wish to stay for eternity. And so I shall.


Sunshine

The best love.....

When I look into your eyes I see my forever. My undeath has been so much happier since you've been in it. In your arms is where I belong.

Your smile brings joy to my world and brightens even the darkest of nights. I have never felt so loved as I do now. You give me the strength to face anything.

With you by my side there isn't anything I can't do. I trust in you completely and love you without restraint Dusk.

I fall more in love with you every night. You show me things I never thought possible about myself. I will forever be grateful that you have such faith in me.

Without you my undeath would be dark and lonely. You've brought happiness and peace to this troubled soul once more. You are my everything Draven. I have never experienced a love such as what I have for you now.

I will love you until the end of time.

Sunshine.

Athens, Greece

Greece is so beautiful. I can't believe I waited so long to come here. But then it probably wouldn't be the same without Dusk.

Oh, yeah and I learned that I am a goddess/queen reincarnated. Is that insane or what. I mean we all knew I was a goddess. ;p But according to Dusk I'm someone named Persephone. I guess I need to really look into who she was. Or I guess who I was. All I know right now is that I was the goddess of spring and innocence who became the Queen of the underworld.

Knowing that we've figured out that that is perhaps the reason why I am immune to demons, since I'm essentially their queen. Which if you think about it, really would've been nice to know when I was into demons. Always too late with the information for it to do me any damn good.

I found that the hunters tracking Dusk traced him to NOLA and he decided to run. Thank Godric he decided to take me along this time. I just don't think I can handle the thought of spending even a single night without him.

It hasn't all been so educational though. We've enjoyed just spending time alone. Long lazy evening spent in bed, midnight swim in the pool, star gazing in his arms. And we all know that in his arms is my all time favorite place to be.

I fell in love with him all over again here in Greece. Watching him as he showed me a city he obviously loves made me appreciate it even more. I want to know every single thing that matters to him and if we start with cities in foreign countries then by golly that's where I'll start.

I worry about these hunters and what will happen, but I have to try and just focus on the now. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us and I don't want to miss a single second I have with Draven.

Sunshine.

Camping...

I was scared to go camping that Mother had to command me to do so. I went home in tears and Dusk tried his best to calm my fears. Hell he even let me buy new shoes. He does spoil me so.

The night started out horribly. I had no cellphone service, there was mud everywhere and we were by a lake. Then Dusk did the best thing he ever could've done. He pissed me off.

From that second on I had fun. I got muddy, jumped in the damn water and caught a fish, hunted and learned about abilities I didn't even know I had.

We killed a wolf and fed from it's heart. Then we hunted deer and I could sense the humans nearby after having their blood. After that we climbed a tree. Can you imagine, me climbing a tree in 6 inch Ferragamo stiletto boots? Well I did. Thanks to Dusk. Once up in that tree Dusk caught a hawk and I got to kill it and feed from it. Afterwards I could see for miles. It was mindblowing.

Then it got kinda scary. We went to this cave and Dusk sent me in to use my senses and I found a mama bear and a cub, but when I attacked the mama bear, she threw me and I ended up breaking my arm. Dusk was right there within seconds. He's always there when I need him. He carried me back to camp, cleaned me up and we sat by the fire for a bit.

When it started to rain he led us to a clearing and we sat and looked at the stars. He pointed out all of the ones I'd never known existed or even that they had names. Then he did the most romantic thing. He pulled me to my feet and we danced in the rain.

We spent the night in each other's arms, like we're meant to.

What started out as a trip I was dreading, became one of my best memories. Thanks to the vampire who loves me enough to push me to my limits because he knows that I'm stronger than I think.

Sunshine.