A safe place to land

~Memory Age 16~


Walking out of Dusk's that morning I knew things at home were going to be bad. I'd been gone for days with no word. I knew my father was going to be livid. He hated vampires more than anything and here I was his little girl running off with one. There would be hell to pay.

I walked as slow as I possibly could just trying to brace myself for what I knew was to come. It was just past dawn and Dusk was sleeping, with no idea I'd left. He couldn't protect me now. This was something I had to face on my own.

I opened the door quietly, praying Daddy was still sleeping. Instead I found him waiting in the living room.

"Fucking vampire slut" were the first words he said to me that morning. I ran, ran as fast as I could for the back door, begging God to let me get out safely. My luck has never been that good.

He caught me by my hair as I reached for the doorknob. So close to freedom I could taste it. With one firm yank, I was down, kicking and screaming. I tried desperately to grab onto the table, the chair, anything that would stop him from hurting me. But I knew it was already too late. He would win this battle.

God smiled on me that day as I slipped into the darkness quick. I woke close to nightfall, battered and bruised. My first instinct was to run to Dusk. To have him heal me. But I just couldn't force myself to move. I laid there for what seemed hours, slipping in and out of conciousness. I wanted him so much. I needed him to make me feel safe.

I felt the hands on me, my body being lifted. I was terrified my father was back to finish me off. Opening one swollen eye I could barely make out Draven's face. I relaxed into his arms. Gave into the pain, the darkness, the fear.

I awoke near dawn, in Dusk's bed. He lay next to me, close, but not touching. He offered to heal me, and I'm not sure why but I said no. I needed to prove to him that I wasn't with him just because of what he could do for me. I needed to feel this pain. I needed him to know he was worth it.

He refused to let me go home again for weeks. He even brought Star by to see me while I recovered. That was the moment I knew he really, truly loved me. Dusk was forever telling me that he loved me and saving my ass too many times to count. But when he walked in that house with Star in tow, I KNEW. He brought her there because I missed her.

I recovered, and life went back to normal. Or as normal as it can when an ancient vampire is in love with a small, fragile human. But all that time, he never hurt me. Not once. He just loved me and gave me what I needed. A safe place to land when it all went wrong.


SUN

Draven's

~Winter, age 15~

It was winter break from school and I was spending all of my nights with Dusk.I'd been wanting to ask him about bonding for so long and yet was too afraid to bring it up. I knew that he thought me young and I was. But he loved me. And I loved him.

I gathered my courage one night just before dawn. I simply whispered, 'I want to bond with you.'

I'll never forget the shock on his face, and how he froze, just stopped moving. He pulled me up and stared at me for a very long time before speaking. He asked me if I knew what I was asking and all that it meant.

I nodded, but wasn't really sure. I guess he sensed my naivete and concern. I sat quietly as he explained that a blood bond was powerful and would keep us close.

Draven explained that after the first exchange my senses would heighten, my sexuality would increase and he'd be able to feel me at all times. I found myself wanting it even more after that. He went on to explain that after the second exchange he would be able to influence me and the third would be the one that completed the bond. Of course for every exchange of blood after that, the bond would only strengthen.

After he was done, I kissed him softly and told him this is what I longed for. To be bonded to him for eternity. His laughter filled the room and he pointed out that I was a mere 15 years of age and very much human. Letting a tear slip free, I turned from him, my heart broken that he didn't wish to bond with me.

Before I knew it I was in his arms, his kiss exciting me. Pulling back he looked at me and smiled before bringing his wrist to his mouth and tearing into it. He pressed it to my lips, and told me to drink as he pulled my own wrist to his mouth and sank fangs deep. His blood was sweet, and I drank hungrily. It was the first time I'd ever tasted blood, but I wanted it so much that I didn't even register that it should be gross.

Pulling back from me, he broke the spell I was under and laid me back on the bed. He spent the remainder of the night making love to me and feeding from me. The dreams started as I slept that morning. Dreams of him, of us, of our moments in bed, and how bad I wanted him. It had begun. I was drawn to him even in dream.

Two nights later he planned to have our second bonding. I was so excited and restless the whole day. I just couldn't sleep. So instead I wrote to him, telling him what this meant to me. I don't think I ever gave it to him either.

That night as soon as he rose he pulled me to him, and offered his wrist. I drank again, feeling his influence strengthen as his blood mixed with mine. He explained to me that now we were bonded stronger and that now was the time to really decide if I wished this. Once done, it was hard to break.

I thought about it all night, as we watched tv, as he hunted,and I kept coming to the same answer.

YES.

Just before daybreak, I told him that I was positive this was what I wanted. I continued to dream of him that night. I quietly left as he slept and returned home. Now, home was not a place I liked to be and my father started in on me as soon as I walked in the door. Ignoring him I went to my bedroom to sleep, knowing I would need to be full aware of what was going on as the last bond was put in place.

The nightmares plaqued me that day and as soon as dusk arrived, Draven was standing at my bedside, his arms around me, sheltering me from the storms that brewed in my dreams.I woke to his smile, his protection.

Carrying me back to his nest, he never let go that night. We made love for hours, completing the bond during. Our blood now mixed, our bodies and souls joined for eternity.

I was happy. I was his. And I remain so to this day.

I am and always have been Draven's.

SUN

A soul shattered

Late July 2009


Sitting outside on the patio of the Bon Temps house I knew it was past time to put him away. To give up hope, but I'd been holding onto him for so long it was not something I could just easily do. I sat staring at the ring on my finger for hours. Twisting it, playing with it, not wanting to take it off.

The night grew late, the rain began, mixing with my tears as I let memories of him and our life together wash over me. Star was visiting our father and I had the place to myself to just grieve for a vampire that owned my very soul.

Soaked to the bone, crying uncontrollably, clutching his picture to my heart, I slowly slid the diamond from my finger and held it in my palm.

Empty.

Shattered.

Dead.

I felt as though I were betraying him. That I needed to just hold on a little longer. But it was painfully clear that he wasn't coming back. I'd searched and searched for years. More years than I probably should've. But I just couldn't give up on him. He'd never given up on me.

I sat in that chair as dawn approached, watching the sun streak the sky purples and reds. Knowing that he was somewhere and he chose to be there without me. That is the part that shattered my soul the most. How he could just walk away from all that we shared.

I finally got out of that chair and walked to the bedroom in a fog. Climbing in the bed I pulled the box with his letters to me out and randomly chose one. My tears smeared the words he'd written. I'd read them so many times over the years, I could recite them by heart and yet here I lay in bed, drenched, reading the words that broke my heart with every letter.

Holding on to it as if it were the only thing saving me that night, I lay to sleep in his shirt, wrapped in a scent that had faded many years before and yet I could still smell him. I could still feel him. I could still love him.

Sleep didn't come that day, nor the next. I just sat in bed for two days holding that ring and his letters. I couldn't bear to let go. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to someone I loved so much. Someone who was such a part of me.

Tears flowed freely as I stood and laid the ring gently into the box, on top of letters, roses from years back and a shirt that had brought me such comfort for so many years. Closing the lid and locking it shut, I successfully locked my shattered soul in that box.

I never once said goodbye to Draven. I simply whispered a soft 'Until we meet again my love' as I slid the box to the back of the closet and sank to the floor in quiet, soul wrenching sobs. Sobs that no one heard, no one would ever hear.

The box remains locked to this very day. I have not been able to bring myself to open it. It holds a love so deep that to have opened it without him would have been asking for despair to consume me. Perhaps someday Dusk shall do the honors and release me from the prison that box represents. A prison of my own making.

SUN

A soul's kiss

~Memory of Sun and Draven~

Fall (age 18)

I watched him wake next to me, his eyes fluttering open,automatically reaching for me. Willingly going to him because in his arms is where I always wanted to be. I couldn't get enough of him. My body craved his touch. Still does.

The nights came earlier then, dusk was always my favorite time of day. In fact it's how he got his nickname. Dusk was the time of day I got to see him. Granted I spent most every second of my life in his arms, life, home, but dusk meant he was awake and we could talk, kiss, hug, make love.

This night was special in that we'd been officially together for three years. We'd been together in soul and spirit from that night he picked me up off the beach, but this night was the anniversary of the night we'd made it official. The night we'd made love for the first time. The first time he told me he loved me and I him.

I'd planned a nice evening in, but things rarely worked out that way for us. Dusk was hungry. Too hungry to take the chance on feeding from me, so out we went. I loved those outings, for the simple fact that he dressed me up and used me as bait. It was exciting. I knew he'd never let anyone hurt me. He would kill them before that happened.

So that night he dressed me up in the cutest little plaid skirt, white button down shirt and sneakers. I looked the part perfectly. Innocent little girl out for a walk in the park . Knowing that they'd had a rash of rapes there, Dusk lay in wait for someone to approach. Walking down that path I felt his eyes on me, his love with me. I was never afraid.

An hour later, Dusk was full enough for us to go home. We walked hand in hand down Bourbon St. People always stared at us. Not because Dusk looked his age, but because I looked so young. And we couldn't keep our hands off of each other for anything. We were always stealing kisses,touches, moments that belonged to just us. Making our way slowly home, his arm around me, mine around him, our lives joined for eternity.

The house was very quiet for that time of night, Dusk explained he'd asked the nest to leave so we could be alone. He made me dinner, yes I know, a vampire cook. But he did. I think it was the one and only time I'd seen him in a human light. He watched me eat, as he always did. My humanity fascinated him. He'd been vampire for so long that he had completely forgotten how humans acted.

He once told me that I gave him his humanity back, but I'm not sure Dusk was ever human. Not that it mattered. I loved him for who he was.

After dinner, he picked me up, kissing me tenderly, carrying me to our bedroom. Laying me softly on the bed, he took his time undressing me, leaving a trail of cold kisses down my body as he removed clothing. His hands traveled the length of me, caressing, touching, driving me insane. In the way only he could. Our bodies were joined that night as much as our souls had always been. As he made love to me for hours, I felt more loved than I'd felt to that day. Dusk always had a way of making me feel love.

Our bond strengthened every time we made love. I never told him no. Never. I wanted it more than he did I think. And he always gave in.

We spent the night in bed, the next day dawned and we stayed in each others' arms. We loved and were loved in return. With a vampire like Dusk, you just never get enough.


SUN

Gone

~Memory~

I'd just finished up with dinner dishes and ran out to go see Dusk. Normal time, just another day, or so I thought. I let myself in to find the house deadly quiet. Went down the hall to his room, and opened the door quietly in case he was still in downtime. But he wasn't there. Listening, I could hear and sense that none of them were.

I searched the house, finding nothing. Worried, I tried his phone only to hear it ringing in the house. I sat down to see if he'd come home. I was still there two days later, when my father came looking for me. Draven was gone. And there was nothing I could do about it right then.

Daddy insisted I come home. Once there I locked myself in my room and refused to come out for anything. I didn't eat, did nothing but sleep and stare at the walls for days. I held his picture, curled up in his shirt. And cried. I cried a lot. It was late one night, the house eerily quiet when I decided I couldn't and wouldn't live without him. I crossed the hall to the bathroom, found a razor blade and sliced into the skin on my wrists. I sat watching my blood draining from me, thinking how he used to love the taste of my blood. How he always told me I tasted amazing. And here I was wasting it. Served him right I thought at the time.

Star saved me that night.She called 911, and I ended up in the hospital for weeks. I tried many times to die. Always putting myself in dangerous situations. I just couldn't bear to live without him. And it took years and years for me to get over him. I eventually focused on Star. She saved me for the second time by giving me a reason to live.

It was just a year ago that I finally put the ring away. And gave up hope. And then guess who strolled his sexy ass back into my world. Yep DUSK.

From the second I opened that door, I knew I'd be his again. Nothing had changed in all those years. I still love him. And nothing can change it.

Hey Dusk, I love you.

Sunshine