An Open Letter to @draven_blood

My Dearest Dusk,

Wow, so where to start. Ok, at the beginning. I love you. Yes, I know I've said it a million times, but this time is different.

Something happened that just woke me up and made me realize how much my life would suck without you. And how much I just need to be with you to know that I'm alive or undead or whatever the fuck I am.

The other night was amazing. Too amazing. I can't seem to forget how it felt to have your hands on me, your lips on mine. I'd forgotten how good it felt when you wanted me.

But it's not just about that. It's about so much more Dusk. It's about how no matter how hurt you are, you still want me to be happy. How no matter how miserable I am, knowing you're in the world, gives me a reason to smile every single day.

When I heard that you wanted to meet the sun, I just couldn't face the thought of an undeath without you. I wanted to meet final death myself. It was as though I was losing you all over again.

And I know I have to regain your trust. I know that you may never trust me again. But Dusk, I promise that I'm going to do my absolute best to do so. I love you and I respect you.

I think I just got scared. It was easier to go to him and use him as an excuse to push you away so I didn't lose you again. I just kept picturing waking up to find you gone again and I just couldn't face that again.

I won't see him again, even as a friend if that's what you wish. I should never have seen him before.

I was so lost and confused and scared. I just didn't know what I was doing anymore. The night I told you that I chose you was so perfect. Too perfect.

You know how I get. How I start thinking and how I just let it all get so confusing. Well that's what I did. I started thinking about you leaving me back then and how hard it was to let you go and I was so scared you'd leave again.

But I see now that it's a chance I'll have to take. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

I've learned that I don't need anyone else to make me happy. I can do that for myself. But I've also learned that I want to share this undeath with someone who brings me joy and comfort when I need it.

You're my very best friend. You're the one I turn to when everything is insane and I just need to hear that I'm doing ok. I want to be that for you. I want to be the person you can count on to always be there. The vampire you can trust to never let you down.

I want to be the vampire you love. The one you just can't get enough of. I want to be that girl you run off on crazy adventures with again. And I want you to be the vampire I spend eternity with.

It's always been you, Dusk. Even when I walked away, I never stopped loving you. I don't think I can. I was so stupid for telling you goodbye. Being in love with you is as natural to me as needing blood to survive. It is who I am. It's who I've always been.

I was trying to spend an eternity searching for something that was right here beside me all along. Love, friendship, and happiness.

You're all I've ever needed in life and undeath. You've never failed to love me, even when I didn't deserve it. You left because you loved me enough to protect me.I see that now. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when we were apart. You are truly one of a kind Dusk.

I don't know how else to tell you how I feel. I simply and completely love you.

I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. And perhaps we could find a way to make this relationship work for us. It's the only thing I can hope for.

I just need you to give me the chance Dusk. Just give me the chance to prove to you that I can be the vampire you need. Please don't push me away.

Always and Forever Yours,

Sunshine

Dusk

Tonight I wish to focus on the present not just a memory. Tonight I wish to tell you why I love Draven to the depths that I do. And in hopes that you will learn to see the vampire that I see.

As you know I met Dusk when I was a mere child. Fifteen years old to be exact. He saved my life and loved me when I thought I was unlovable. And he still does.

I fell in love with his laugh, his smile, the way he lived his undeath to the fullest. His kindness knows no bounds. And yet, he can kill in seconds if he needs to. I fell in love with his generosity, his creativity, his way of just knowing the right thing to say at the right time.

I continue to love him because of how he treats me as an equal, even when I was human, he never made me feel less than equal to him. He doesn't see me as a child, he never has. He looks into my heart and my soul and shows me the strength I have. He allows me to make mistakes and helps me to see the lessons from them. He has not once given up on me.

I love Draven not because he saved my life, but because he gave me a reason to live. He helped me find the courage to fight. He helped me see that there was so much more to life than what I had at home.

The moment I opened my eyes to him, I saw the world differently. It was no longer black and white. It was full of color and laughter. He brought such joy to my life. In so many ways.

And even after he left my love for him remained. I could feel him, knew he loved me, knew he missed me as much as I missed him. That's why it was so hard to say goodbye to him. And yes I know I should've sensed he was back, but I'd shut myself off from him for so long at that point I just wasn't looking for the signs.

But when I opened that door, I was overpowered by the feelings rushing back. It was as if time had stood still. We were the same two beings we'd always been, well, I was vampire now, but we still belonged to one another.

I love Draven more than any words can express. I love him to the very depths of my soul. I would rather meet final death than see pain in his eyes.

And someday I'll be able to fully express to him that love. Until then, I can simply say....

Dusk,

I love you.

Sunshine